Irritability. This is one symptom that I can attribute to menopause...or not. Fluctuating hormones can indeed drive one to anger. I believe "mood swings" is the favored terminology. Going through menopause is like an emotional minefield. I am pretty even-keeled for the most part. I try not to get to the point of being angry.

     Aging helps me because by the time I am on the brink of anger, I have forgotten what it is I am supposed to be angry about. Oh and do not let several days go by. I not only forget what I became angry about, I forget the day I became angry on. While the person I became angry at is fuming, I am like, "Hey, what is the matter?" and the person is looking like, "Are you kidding me?"

     It is important to note that I do not hold grudges. To hold grudges, I have to have a good memory and aging decreases that ability. Keep in mind that some memory lapses can be linked to many causes. Since I am menopausal, I will definitely blame menopause.

     When I was on the brink of the Change of Life and found myself having too many episodes of irritability bordering on and sometimes surpassing anger, I decided to start trying medication for prevention.

     I announced to my family that I indeed had anger management problems brought on by age and that I was going to take medication for it. This announcement was met by endless applause. They were relieved that AT LAST I was going to get help for turning into the Tasmanian Devil and the Incredible Hulk rolled into one.

     I tried this med. Then I tried that med. I tolerated many comments from my family, but the one that stands out the most is, "Whatever you're taking, it's not working."

    To top it all off, these meds have side effects. One in particular included a stark dream where I was standing on the edge of a cliff with a car next to me in an ice storm. Nix that one. The other resulted in a weight gain on top of the excess weight I already had a difficult time controlling. Nix that one. Another one worked quite well, but in the end, I felt emotionally numb all of the time. A former co-worker became very upset when I told her I had stopped that one and asked, "Why?!" I wanted to slip her this same med to control her irritability.

     Over the years, I have been on and off meds with the ebb and flow of my hormones.

     What confuses me is that because I have this Mary Poppins persona, does that mean I do not have the right to ever get irritated or...heaven forbid...angry?

     There must be a happy medium.

     In the meantime, I will keep twirling my umbrella, singing happy songs, and when the clouds of irritability roll in, I will belt out a moving rendition of Doris Day's "Que Sera, Sera".

Postscript: Let your beauty pop with Mary Kay's Shimmer Eye Shadow Sticks. No applicator needed.

                                                  GOD FIRST, FAMILY SECOND, CAREER THIRD 

P